Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Secrets To Attract Men

When I was growing up my mother always told me, " Just be yourself and men will like you," or " If he doesn't like you it is his loss." Sound familiar? Well it never felt like his loss. It felt like mine.

Perhaps you have wondered why women who might not be as pretty smart, talented or funny as you always seem to have dates on Saturday night, while you stay at home in front of the tube. The answer is one that you may have guessed - they know the secret of seduction.

This is a secret that has been passed down for ages from Queens to movie actresses, to current day divas. It is part of the reason why they have been able to attain and keep their titles.

What is this secret to attracting men? Well here is a hint - it has almost nothing to do with what they looked like. Cleopatra, for example, is one of history's greatest seductresses and yet from all accounts she was plain bordering on unattractive. No the secret has more to do with how they saw themselves and the world arround them than how their physical attributes. Cleopatra believed that she was the most beautiful woman in the world and her belief was so strong that others began to see her that way, as well.

Let's face it physical beauty changes with the latest fad. We had Twiggy, Marilyn and now Kate Moss and Cindi Crawford. Each a different weight, hair color, eye color. But I bet they all had an image of themselves and the world around them that ended up with them on top and amazing men clamoring to be with them.

So what is the secret to attracting men? Well, it begins with envisioning yourself as a hot, desireable woman. Picture yourself the focal point of men's interest starting today - not when you lose ten pounds or get your teeth whitened or your nose straightened.

Next picture the type of men that you want to be attracted to you. Imagine them down to the last detail. What qualities should they have both physically and emotionally? Do you want a guy to cuddle with on the couch or one who constantly takes you out on the town. Visualize your ideal scenario.

Do just these two steps every morning for ten minutes and right before you go to sleep for ten minutes. Add more visualization time as you can throughout the day. The more you picture it, the more real it will become to you.

Start with this to gain confidence and to get rid of the " he would never be interested in me" mentality. Then once you have that firmly programmed into your brain you can start on the external aspects like how you look and what you could be doing to align yourself with your vision ( ex. getting off the couch on Saturday nights and getting out there where your dream man can find you).

By: Caterina Christakos

When The Woman You Date Is More Than A Woman

Ok. This is an uncomfortable article and dealing as it does with bisexuality, not many men will agree to talk about it, let alone openly admit that they are a least somewhat curious about the appeal of other men. But I was sitting down in Miami Beach the other day for my daily dose of caffeine with my date, a lady friend I had been dating for a few weeks now. We were enjoying the view of this wonderful and so very sex city in the fall when my friend all of a sudden asked me if I had ever fantasized about being intimate with another man!

Men, women and in between, Miami is truly a metrosexual city where the differences between genders sometimes become so veiled that a new gender has arisen, the generation of the she males, those men turned into women who sometimes look more feminine than women themselves.

Young and old alike, these dreamy creatures seem to be made from the same gorgeous female mould with the perfect curves, the feline walk, whilst retaining they male attributes which I am told can sometime exceed the average expectations and just as my friend was cornering me with her incredible question, such a beautiful “woman” walked in and sat at the table next to us.

This woman was exactly the kind of woman a man dreams dating about, and I was no exception. The fact that she was not born didn’t have anything to do with the attraction I thought. She was beautiful, and most women would have loved to have been just as beautiful as she was, but there had been other beautiful women sitting right by us at the café, why had not been drawn to them instead?

In truth, I didn’t know. After all, history is ripe with stories of the forbidden love. Alexander the Great for example, warrior amongst warriors sought solace and romance with a battlefield companion who was not strictly a woman. He could have chosen any woman, single or married and dated her instead, and yet he chose “her”. Of course, this was not dating as we know it today, rather ownership, but in journals found of this great man, romance with this woman was obviously a recurrent theme which brought passion and even jealousy to his wife.

And if I though that dating and relationships were tough enough before my date’s question, I was now meandering through the streets of the impossible where each answer suggest dozens more questions, all leading to the unknown.

At the end of the day, what counts is that a date brings you joy and happiness and in the modern world where there are more unhappy married couples than singles, what if my destiny was to date a single woman, a she man, born as a different gender but who has made the cross over between the two.

What if my soul mate happens to be the “lady” at the café, not my date but the other “woman” sitting nearby? Would I be a lesser man if she was? Would it diminish the quality of my dating life if I chose to walk some of it in “her” company?

By: Miami Expat